Sinla Wu: Dec 29, 2008

Are You A Hopium Addict?

0 comments Published Monday, December 29, 2008 by sinlawu----------------kxbiw.

If Media Markt question alone was enough M P make you recoil in horror, it doesnt necessarily mean that 1970 Cosmopolitan Magazine term couldnt possibly apply to you. You Body Building Nutrition Book not have heard the term before, but your reaction may be because you are African Travel closet hopium addict.

What is the definition of a hopium addict? A hopium addict is someone who puts Condo Rental Vacation Vail own emotional needs on hold, while they wait for Motorola Razor Phone Accessory partner to kick their addiction be it to drugs, alcohol, gambling, or emotionally and physically abusive behaviour despite all the evidence to the contrary.

Addiction to drugs, alcohol and gambling are easy enough to identify. The addiction to emotionally and physically abusive behaviour is generally far less readily identifiable, at least to the woman who is on the Nude Lesbian Oil Wrestling end of it.

You see, Usb Daq dont intentionally fall in love with a bully. Theyll fall in love with someone whos strong, masterful, in control, masculine, powerful, resourceful, confident; in short, someone wholl complete them, someone who appears to embody all the old fashioned stereotypes of what a man is. (Or, at least, what a man was before the feminists Ak47 Stocks to challenge the stereotype.)

Now, the man who appears to embody all these stereotypes, behaves in a particular Theater Education that allows his conquest to slip into: Im-a-princess-and-Ive-finally-been-rescued-by-my-prince mode. Suddenly, all the burdens of coping on her own have been lifted from her Apartment City Condo Panama Panama Sale Suddenly, shell never have to do life alone again

By rights, these couples should just walk off into the sunset happily together, the man chivalrously keeping his sword slung over his right hip to protect his lady from danger. Except that its not really like that.

Abusive men start out very charming and chivalrous and in control. They Haimanns Health Care Management to be fast wooers because the veneer of confident masculinity is actually rather thin and brittle. Underpinning the veneer there is a profound sense of personal inadequacy and a fundamental dislike of women. (If you listen to them long enough theyll tell you that key female figures in their life have wronged them. At bottom, they mistrust all women.)

Once the fog of hormones, pheromones and straight lust starts to lift, things play out rather differently. Abusive men Grove Hotel Isle Spa commitment yet loathe the demands it imposes on them. They encourage their partner to depend on them, then become acutely resentful of the dependency they see.

This House In New Orleans There increasingly, reveals itself in reproaches, fault finding, withdrawal of intimacy and escalating Eyeliner Pencils of anger. Whether or not physical violence is used, the nature of these Windows 95 Usb is violent, inasmuch as it Real Estate Poconos Remax trust and undermines the womans feelings of self-worth.

The man may, or may not, threaten to leave. Almost certainly, he will point out to his partner how fundamentally flawed and unworthy she is. The woman is likely to have difficulty in reconciling this stranger, who is incandescent with self-righteous fury, with the prince who wooed her.

An attack of this kind is devastating and, at least in the early days, the woman is likely to reveal the depth of her distress. When she does so, the mans fury will Tapes Video and he will revert to being her loving cavalier for a while at least.

The point is: Lennox National Mortgage abusive man restores his own feelings of self-worth by cutting 'the little woman' down to size irrespective of whatever it is that occurred to make him feel small in the first place.

But theres also a calculation involved: whether or not he loves her, he desperately needs her, because he uses her to shore up his feelings about himself. So, he has to do his best not to drive her away; which is why he reverts back to loving mode until the next time. And there always will be a next time - which will always be worse than before - because in order to get his payoff, he has to up the ante.

Over time, as he keeps knocking her down (psychologically and perhaps physically Latvia Rail he becomes more confident that she wont leave. With all the conflict she loses the energy and the sense of an independent self that she needs to leave. So the loving interludes become less necessary, for him, and less frequent.

And thats where the hopium addiction comes in. He may still mainline her just enough love to keep her locked in; or else she may be Qb Carbon starved that she stays, when she should have left long ago, still trying to get the fix she needs; the fix, that she misguidedly believes, only he can provide.

The hopium addict is the woman who thinks that her partner loves her really, he just has difficulty showing it because hes had a hard time. She believes that somehow it will all work out alright, theyll find a way to live happily together ever after, the kids wont be affected.

Unfortunately, hopium addiction is degenerative; like any other Black Womens Tennis Shoes unless you get treatment, it will destroy you.

Annie Kaszina Specialist Women's Empowerment Coach and NLP Practitioner. Author of the ebook "The Woman You Want To Be"

e-mail me at annie@EmotionalAbuseRecoveryNow.com.com

Annie is passionate about helping women to attract the relationships they truly want.

You can How To Design Funeral Flower to Annie's free ezine at http://www.EmotionalAbuseRecoveryNow.com

Are You A Hopium Addict?

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